It may be worth pointing out at this juncture, that RIFF is more than a little loopy. As we do so, we hear STEVE's thoughts in VOICE OVER. O.) It all began for me the day that I heard a song on the radio about the moon drenched shores of Transylvania and things started to fall into place.
He lies on top of the coffin and begins kissing the head end. So I headed on over to my Chief's office in order that I might tell him of my suspicions and about a plan I'd come up with which might put a smile on his face, after all, he was the big banana and with luck I thought that I might be able to pull it off.
SO IF YOU'RE CHASING AN UNCHASTE DISGRACE AN ANGEL FACE THAT'S ENCASED IN LACE WELL OUT IN SPACE THERE'S THE PERFECT PLACE TO FAN YOUR MANIA COME AND SEE WHAT THE GLOOM ADORES HERE WITH ME ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA. And such a miserable excuse for a life-form as De Lordy as well. He waves what looks like a rolled up film poster at her, it is exactly that. RAY Not now, Agent Majors, I've got a terrible headache, the only thing that cures it is this ... STEVE You mean you know the singer personally, Chief?
We stand before the GOTHIC-ARCHED DOOR again, only this time it's real. Oh Magenta, my beloved sister, flesh of my flesh, delight of my life, forgive me you bitch. We see STEVE MAJORS coming along the outer corridor and swing into MARY LOU's secretarial office.
SO IF YOU SAY (YOU WANNA) STAY AWAY FROM THAT SAME OLD GREY MAYDAY AFTER DAY AND YOUR GAME IS TO PLAY AND PLAY THEN I CAN'T BLAME YAH AND SO WE'LL STAND WHERE THE TOMB ENDURES HAND IN HAND ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA. Again, natural rock suggests imprisoned monsters of Hell and sumptuous drapes suggest an evil decadence. As the door opens he stands up real quick, the dollar still stuck in his nostril. STEVE I want to talk to you about that song that's being played everywhere, Chief, The Moon Drenched Shores of Transylvania.
It works well as a proper followup to Rocky Horror, and is actually quite entertaining to read. The spacing of the dialogue and songs are fairly exact, but I did condense the spacing of the staging directions a tad. We hear the sighs, moans and groans of unseen Transylvanians drowning in pleasure. We lose the sounds with his action and we hear now the thump of his heartbeat, followed by a dramatic drum fill. I'm not sure exactly when this was originally written, but the context of the setting would suggest between 19. O.): LET ME TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF SEDUCTION WHERE HEARTS ARE LIGHT BECAUSE IT'S NIGHT ALL DAY LET ME HELP YOU BREAK THE CHAINS OF SELF DESTRUCTION I'LL START ENLIGHTENING YOU RIGHT AWAY. It is full of erotica in all forms, paintings, bronzes, books, etc., and on the huge T. screen there is a fairly explicit strip act playing and what's even worse (yes, it gets worse) the STRIPPER appears to have an extra something that doesn't belong to the female form. SO IF YOU'RE HOT TO SPOT WHAT'S WHAT YOU' BETTER GET A BIT OF WHAT THEY'VE GOT WHERE THEY DON'T LIKE A LITTLE BUT A LOT OF EROTOMANIA YOU'LL KNOW BLISS AS SOON AS YOU GET YOURS AS WE KISS ON THE MOON DRENCHED SHORES OF TRANSYLVANIA IF YOU DELIGHT IN CANDLE LIGHT AND THE INFERNAL I KNOW THIS DANGEROUS LITTLE RENDEZVOUS AND IF YOU CATCH A BITE WHERE NIGHT IS ETERNAL YOU'LL FEEL A STRANGENESS COMING OVER YOU. RAY is bent over his desk doing something with a rolled up dollar bill and some white powder. RAY I don't know what's gone wrong with afternoon television these days, can't get the script writers I expect.